I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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