Im at strip club and am horny
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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