This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
