There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
