Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
