Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
