She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
