I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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