this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
