They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
