Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
