you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
