wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm eating all of the evidence.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
