I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
