There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Never joke about your clitoris.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
