Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
