Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
