and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
