Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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