after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
