I accidentally had phone sex last night
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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