Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I could make wine with my vomit
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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