you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
