I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Randomize
