She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize
