My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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