i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
