I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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