Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
