I feel great
I just peed on a car
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
