I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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