I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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