I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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