And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
