hotel room ftw
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
