The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
