ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
40s are totally the cure
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
