This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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