There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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