i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
