A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
