Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
