CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
