Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
