I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
