Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
