I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
