i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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