I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
