Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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