New low: just hacked my moms facebook
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
