haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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