Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
